A good way to tell if you’re in the target demo for any movie is to see if the previews are for the kind of movies you’d like to see. By the third preview before Cloverfield I knew I was in bad shape.
Basically, you’ve got the Blair Witch Project with an effects budget and some people in heels. Now, I’m not a woman, so I don’t know the protocol, but I was continually stunned by the commitment to some of these chicks to keeping their heels on. Building to building leap, sure. Dead sprint through darkened tunnels, no problem. Sadly, this was the most impressive thing about the movie.
I am easily scared. If my refrigerator hums wrong I sleep with a knife under my pillow. But honestly, there’s nothing frightening or chilling or ultimately engaging about this movie. There’s a rubbernecking quality to seeing lots of shit blow up, but that’s it. The interpersonal stories and the attempt to develop and service them under these circumstances are incredibly comical. The ‘man with a camera’ POV is even harder to sustain here than in Blair Witch. And fundamentally, while big scary things are big and scary, they’re not threatening in the same way as small scary things, something the filmmakers were clearly aware of and tried to deal with. Without going into too much detail, they didn’t go far enough.
Finally, there is no sense of satisfaction or closure from the finale. It is exactly like driving by a wreck on the freeway. It grabs your attention, you wonder what happened, and then you’re back to trying to find a decent song on the radio. If that sounds like a fun way to spend 84 minutes, you could see this movie, but honestly, you’ll probably be more entertained just driving around looking for wrecks.
